HRJR's Daily Diamond

"Those closest to you will always be on your side. Not because you're right, but because the way you tell your story to them will either have you be the victim or the victor, but never the villain." HRJR.

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My "A-Ha! Moment"

If I didn't challenge or question the Bible I would not be inspired to search within it for its wisdom. Personally I prefer to read scriptures for myself and make my own interpretations because if there truly is a day upon which I'm going to be judged, I am almost certain that I'm not going to be judged based on what some preacher said. I'm going to be judged by my actions. Those actions result from my choices, and those choices are a result of how I interpreted that which I took in.

Sometimes you hear things and they just rattle around in your brain until on a particular day something happens and then whatever it was falls into place and clicks. When that happens things just instantly make sense. I believe Oprah popularized a phrase that sums it up best, that being an "A-Ha! Moment."

My life is not perfect and full of smiles. Sometimes - like everyone else - I be going through some things (LOL)! And while processing some of the things I'm dealing with and going through, I had such an "A-Ha! Moment," and in the process of processing, a scripture I heard long ago became specifically relevant to me.

The book of Matthew tells how Jesus traveled all over teaching and healing, but when he returned home to Nazareth, his own people challenged and ridiculed him. According to Chapter 13 - Verse 57, Jesus said to them, "A prophet is not without honor except in his hometown and in his own household." And because of their disbelief he did not perform his works there.

"A prophet is not without honor except in his hometown and in his own household."

Depending on the size of your dream or vision, there will be times those closest to you will be the ones who strive to shatter your dreams. Or at the very least, they will not show you the same respect that you've earned from strangers. All you can do is do your work where it is most appreciated.



There will be people close to you whom you do things for but they will be ungrateful. There will be people close to you whom you try to counsel and advise, but they will disregard your words and heed the same things said by someone else. Instead of fretting over their lack of gratitude; leave them be just as Jesus did, and go out into the world and change the lives of those strangers who will appreciate it.

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HRJR Coaching Chronicles #001

It's been a while since I put out some videos.
So for some of you, I'm back.
For those of you who haven't seen my videos ... Here I am.

HRJR Coaching Chronicles #002

It's been a while since I put out some videos.
So for some of you, I'm back.
For those of you who haven't seen my videos ... Here I am.

Maintaining a Motivational Spirit ©

As the title of this book ("Success is a Journey") alludes, every journey must come to an end, and here is where our journey begins to conclude. In the previous chapters I shared with you my views on what to expect on your journey of success and how you should go about handling yourself on your journey. I don’t believe I can say it enough that if you are truly on a journey of success, your journey will not be an easy one. Even though the journey that is your physical life started beyond your control and shall end in God’s time, your journey of success will start and end by your will alone.

You can start it at any time and you can end it any time. I want to say it’s never too late to start on that journey, but the fact of the matter is tomorrow is promised to no one so the earlier you start the better off you are. When you know that something in your life – or your life overall – has to change, then that is the time when you should start taking action to make the changes necessary. When you realize for yourself that you’re not as knowledgeable as you want to be, or are overweight, or that you smoke too much, or you abuse drugs, alcohol, gambling, or even if you realize you hurt someone’s feelings; when you reach that moment of clarity, that’s when you should go about taking control, and when you do, that’s when your journey of success in that area begins.

Again, if your journey is a worthwhile endeavor, it is not going to be an easy road to travel. It takes time to read when you’d rather be watching television. Push-ups and crunches can be torture, and there will be times when you will want to hunt down whoever invented the treadmill and clock him across the head with it. Nicotine is a very addictive substance; as are illegal drugs, alcohol, and gambling – and the person whose feelings you hurt might not accept your apology and forgive you. These obstacles may be high or wide, but they are not permanent ones. You have to stay strong and keep the faith. This is what I call maintaining a motivational spirit.

It’s easy to say “if you think happy thoughts, then good things will come your way.” Yes ... it’s easy to say that, but quite untrue in the real world. Maintaining a motivational spirit is not the same as looking at the world with rose colored glasses and expecting that everything will turn out fine just because you believe it will. In order to maintain a motivational spirit, you must first find an honest internal balance. You must be able to see things as they really are and deal with them appropriately.

When I say “see things as they really are,” I mean you have to make a conscious effort to take what you’re given and process it in the best way possible to Find A Way to make your life easier.

Ignoring your bills does not make them go away. You have to pay those bills as best you can with what you have when you have it. There are going to be down times in your life. In order to overcome them, you’re going to have to face them. Only when you honestly face something can you find; or if necessary, create the motivation needed to overcome them.

As a police officer, I dealt with a lot of negative situations. A lot of cops get burnt-out and take their own lives because they can’t or don’t find, create and maintain the motivational spirit necessary to overcome the negatives they see in life on a daily basis. I have endured many a humbling season in my short lifetime thus far, and I’ve always come out on top. Suicide is punk’s way out. As Les Brown once described it, “it’s a permanent solution to a temporary problem.”

Where Should I Go to Find or Create a Motivational Spirit?

1. YOURSELF! The first place you should go is within yourself. No matter where you go, there you are. I believe that we all see the truth in everything, but if what we actually see is not what we want to see, we tend to ignore it or reshape it. This is not “creating your own reality.” This is nothing more than you lying to yourself. You must face the truth for what it is, no matter how ugly it may be. The first place you prepare yourself to become whatever you are meant to be is in your heart; but if you can’t be honest with yourself, how can you expect to present yourself and be treated as an honest person?

2. GOD (or whatever you deem your higher power to be)! There is power in prayer and meditation. As comedian and radio personality, Steve Harvey, says when he closes his show every day, “Don’t be afraid to pray. Don’t be too proud to pray. Prayer changes things.” Pick up a Bible, or a Qur’an, the Talmud, or whatever holy scripture your faith may subscribe to. Just as there is power in prayer, there is power in the Holy Word.

Like millions of people have for thousands of years, I often find solace in scripture; so I feel very safe in saying that even though I may not know you personally, there’s not a problem you have that you cannot find comfort in with God’s word.

There’s also nothing wrong with conversing with clergy if you have them available – and since they live to make themselves available you have no excuse for not being able to find any! I admit, although I have started going back to church, I am not an avid churchgoer, but I do have about 3 close friends who are ministers who I can confide my troubles in and help fortify my faith and motivational spirit.

3. READING! I cannot stress this approach enough. Trust and believe that no matter what struggles you may be enduring, there is someone out there who has overcome a similar – if not identical struggle, and probably wrote a book about it! Dealing with a particular illness? There are books out there. Money problems? There are books out there. Do you have problems understanding women? There are a bunch of books out there.

Do you have problems understanding men? Get over it (just kidding)! There are books out there. Do you just need help in general trying to figure out how to light a fire under your bottom? You’ve got a book for that right in your hands!

It’s really not difficult to find assistance in gaining insight on a particular problem. You can even go online and find out how other people have dealt with similar problems. All you have to do is just type in the name of your problem into the search engine of your choice, and within seconds you’ll have dozens of links to various websites, articles, and even support groups from around the world right at your fingertips. In short, there really is no excuse for not being able to find assistance in facing your problems.

4.  “K.I.S.S.” Another way to maintain a motivational spirit is a technique that many speakers use: K.I.S.S. (Keep It Short & Simple). A lot of times people make things more complicated than they have to be. A couple of years ago I picked up a habit from watching a Denzel Washington movie – Inside Man, I think it was. There was a line that he often used when he wanted something explained to him which was something like, “Explain it to me like I’m a four year old.” I often find myself asking people questions only to have them give me answers that might sound good in their heads but have nothing to do with the question I asked and I have no problem saying, “Yes, but that’s not what I asked you. Now explain it to me like I’m a four year old.

When dealing with a problem or something bothering you, don’t say “I don’t know what’s wrong.” If you know that something is not right, then by default you know that something is wrong. If you’re not happy or content, then you’re sad or malcontent, and if you look deep enough inside yourself you’ll know what it is that’s wrong and why it’s bothering you. Hell, by default it’s bothering you because it’s wrong! See how simple that is?

When I am upset about something I know what it is that I’m upset about, and I realize that I may remain upset because I choose to be. When you are depressed or mad, it’s because you choose to be. If you’re engaged in an activity or a relationship that’s making you miserable then you must put distance between yourself and that activity or relationship and move towards something more pleasurable.

Now, it might not be practical to make that move exactly when you want to, but if you spend the time in between knowing that you have to make a positive move and actually making that move focused on making that move instead of focusing on the negativity of the situation you are spending your time productively.

Again, I am not saying just think happy thoughts and everything will be fine. That’s part of it – an important part, but it is only a part of the solution, and not the whole solution.

What I am saying is that if you honestly see a situation for what it is; look inside yourself and upon your faith; research your problem or adversity to see how other people overcame their similar or identical obstacles; break it down and simplify it as much as possible, and spend your time focusing on potential solutions instead of the definite problem – you then have the makings of a motivational spirit, and when you go about making a conscious effort of handling all of your setbacks in this manner, you will also be in the habit of maintaining a motivational spirit!

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Pick Your Battles, but Battle to Win! ©

The year 1995 was a very pivotal growing point in my life and on my journey. I was on my quest towards my career in Law Enforcement, and since nothing was panning out in New Jersey, my mother – who had moved to South Carolina after my grandmother’s passing – suggested I try applying for the Charleston Police Department. For now, I’ll just give you the Reader’s Digest version and say that things did not work out down there and I decided to return to New Jersey and go back to the old drawing board.

What is important is that I learned a whole lot and became a much better man because of that experience. You see, I knew what I wanted to be, but I had never been “tested.” I had never had people actively interfere and conspire to stand in the way of me achieving my goals. Even back in New Jersey, I could just say it was all about red tape and politics, but in Charleston, I could put faces to the game that was being played on me.

In retrospect, I realized that I had faced what they call “institutionalized racism” head-on when the Training Sergeant told me, “Reed, you gotta’ learn how to play by the rules.” Seeing it as how I had never violated any “documented” policies, I realized that the “rules” I violated were those involving me not staying in my place. I have always had a good time whenever I went down South, but there’s a big difference between going “down South” for a visit, and moving down to live in the “Deep South,” and the “Deep South” is still very much racist in a great many areas.

In 1992, Spike Lee made a movie entitled “X.” in brilliant fashion, Denzel Washington played the part of Malcolm Little; later known as “Detroit Red;” later known as “Satan;” later known as Malcolm X, and finally known as El Hajj Malik-El Shabazz – one of the greatest leaders black people in the United States have ever had. By the time this movie came out, I had already read The Autobiography of Malcolm X twice – the first time being when I was in the eighth grade.

Spike Lee (along with a bunch of bootleggers) made a mint selling all kinds of “X” paraphernalia. T-shirts, bags, back-packs, medallions, posters … you name it – if you could put an “X” on it someone was selling it.

One of the most intriguing sights I ever saw while I was living in South Carolina was a bumper sticker bearing a confederate flag and under it, “You wear your 'X' & I’ll wear mine!” I remember chuckling when I first saw it, but I also remember giving that unknown driver a mental note of respect. That guy could have been a card-carrying member of the Ku-Klux Klan, but he had my respect because I knew where he stood.

One of life’s realities is that we, as God’s imperfect little children, have never – and will not likely ever agree on everything; however, there is more honor in knowing who your enemy is and being able to either face him or know his intentions rather than dealing with those who would smile in your face, all the while plotting your very downfall at the first available opportunity.

In my dealings with that Training Sergeant in South Carolina, when everything came to a head, I was ordered to a meeting with the Chief of Police. I was ordered to bring every piece of equipment they issued me, for surely upon the completion of that meeting, I would be fired. I spent the entire weekend preparing for that meeting, and upon completion of that meeting, I did not lose my job. I stood my ground, I kept my composure, and I had won. My father had flown to Charleston for what was supposed to be my graduation from the police academy.

In dealing with the fact that I was not going to be graduating, he told me something that capsulated my entire experience up to that point. He told me I had to learn when and how to choose which battles were worth fighting. With that I began to reflect upon my experiences in the preceding months and how they lead up to my present state of affairs at that time, and how they could have and eventually wound up affecting my future.

I took into consideration the lengths that certain people had gone through to have me removed from the police academy and get me fired – even though I was amongst the top 5% of my class. I asked myself, “If this is what they’ll do to keep me from getting my foot in the door, what might they be capable of if I actually get in?”

My father’s words came back to me about learning how and when to choose my battles. I had won a couple of battles, but I was clearly able to see just how deep the deck was stacked against me, and I made the determination that I would be better off returning to New Jersey. The fact that you have this book in your hands is proof that I made the right decision.

Even though it took me another five years from that point before I achieved my goal of becoming a police officer, I learned so much from that experience in South Carolina that I cannot even be mad about it! I learned so much from that particular part of my journey that I truly have a deep appreciation for my career and all it allowed me to have and do – both for myself as well as for others.

As you continue on your journey, you will find that there will be people you encounter whose sole purpose will be to sway you from your focus. Depending on what goals you’re trying to accomplish, there are a variety of ways you can deal with the situation. Like the falling snow, no two situations may be the same.

I have never learned how to play the game of chess, but I do understand it to be a game of strategy. I do know enough about the game to know that more often than not the winner is the one who is better and more adept at both executing his own strategy as well as anticipating his or her opponent’s strategy. Good players know just how many moves it will take for them to win by anticipating their opponent’s strategies while executing their own – a lot of times within the first two or three moves that are made within a given game. Life is no different. From Sun Tzu to Donald Trump, the most successful people throughout all of history have been those who strategize, plan ahead, and execute.

Be Bigger

Conflict ... Some people thrive on conflict. These people are not happy unless they are causing someone else some form of misery. The reason for this is at their core, they themselves are miserable, and like the saying goes – “misery loves company.” Now I would not go so far as to say that I have been a miserable person, but I have fed into the misery at different times in my life.

Most people in their various careers and lifestyles go through their daily activities exposed to little or no misery. Granted, we all have our own personal trials and tribulations we must endure in our life’s journeys, but imagine being in a vocation that requires you to witness everyone else’s trials and tribulations every day and then still have to go home and deal with your own. It’s very easy to fall victim to not just misery, but flat out clinical depression if you are not secure in your own peace of mind.


What do most people do if they feel they are being attacked; or at the very least, offended? They counter-attack or offend in retaliation, but my question to you is, what has been gained in the exchange? What else other than a passing feeling of satisfaction in being able to say, “Well, I told him,” or “I gave her a piece of my mind?” that’s nothing but false pride right there. In actuality, you have gained nothing.

Not only does the initial conflict remain, but by your- counter-attack you have only fanned the flames of that conflict making it grow in size. Furthermore, what did you get in return in exchange for you giving the other person a piece of your mind? Chances are you got absolutely nothing of any equal value. Can any of us afford to “give away” pieces of our minds in exchange for nothing?

I remember having a long conversation with one of my closest friends who is a Corrections Officer. He was telling me all about how there were certain people on his job that he didn’t get along with, and how much he did not mind telling them how much he did not care for them. I advised him to just be cool as well as careful about how he addressed and responded to those particular co-workers. You see, one of the lessons I learned from my experience in South Carolina is that you don’t know who knows who and how well they get along.

When I was in South Carolina I debated an issue with one of my instructors and had clearly made my point while neutralizing hers. I felt good about myself and having proved my point, but at the same time, I humiliated her in front of the entire class. I later found out that she was the one who was an old friend of the Training Sergeant who pulled me out of the police academy.

She had a couple words with him; and he in turn made a phone call to the Chief of Police, who in turn gave the order to have me removed from the academy. Now I don’t know whether or not my friend followed my advice about holding his tongue, but about four months after we had that conversation, he got suspended because a prisoner got jumped and injured in an area that was supposed to be under his surveillance.

Somehow, he was peculiarly assigned to a post that was supposed to be manned by two or more officers; however, he was assigned alone. Basically, he was held responsible for not being able to be in two places at the same time. What more than likely happened was that somebody he had told off probably went to someone they were friends with and conveniently set him up under the guise of being understaffed in that area. He fought his suspension and eventually won back his lost pay and seniority. He was actually rather proud of his victory.

Now, I hated having to be a “Bubble-Buster,” but there was no other way for the lesson to get across; so I said to my friend: “Granted, you got your money back, but you didn’t win anything. All you got was what was rightfully yours in the first place. Look back at how hard your family had to struggle while you were out of work. Think back on those spats you had with your wife, knowing in your heart they were all just because you guys were frustrated. While you were enduring those burdens, the people who set you up were laughing at you” (… just like that instructor had the last laugh at my expense).

Another thing that both of my parents told me as I was “enduring” my ordeal in South Carolina was, “You’ve got to learn how to play the game.” Although it sounds similar to what that sergeant said about “following the rules,” whereas he was covertly telling me that I should stay in a (N-word’s) place, my parents were teaching me about the importance of tempering my emotions and controlling my tongue.

Now granted, there are times when it’s best to lay low and humble and bide your time, but there are also times when you must stand your ground. If you must take someone on, go all out. There are times for being kind and forgiving; however, it goes against everything that is logical for one to just allow him or herself to be a willing victim. Now I’m not going to get all deep into some kind of morally judgmental diatribe, but what I will say, is that the path of success is chock-full of people who are out to get you and take you out. After all, they too, are on journeys of their own and they may have an entirely different definition of success with a whole different set of rules regarding getting there. Either you are in their way or they see you as a potential threat and believe you have to be taken out. If what you want is that important to you ... stand your ground!

Now by no means am I advocating violence in any way to achieve your objectives or in defending yourself against non-violent attacks against your character or career. What I am saying is that there are times when you must take a stand so that others see that you are not one to be messed with, and other times when the best revenge you could have is to fall back and do nothing, I always say that in the end God don’t like ugly & karma is a mean S.O.B.!

As you travel on your journey you’re going to have to realize that there are all kinds of wolves in sheep's clothing out there. You are going to have to learn how to see them before they see you. You are going to have to learn how to avoid them if possible, and engage them if necessary.

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L.I.S.P.: Learn, Implement, Succeed, Profess ©

LEARN: Educate yourself. This is the beginning of all forms of success. The only thing you can succeed at without knowing anything is failure.

When I was a child, there was an educational program that I was heavily involved in. It was called the "Bookmobile." A couple of times throughout the school year a bus would come to my school and it would be filled with books. My mother would look over the list of books that was sent home a week or so prior to the Bookmobile's arrival, and together we would pick out a couple of books that I would get. My mother would then have me not only read those books, but also write book reports ... for her!

Reading was never a problem for me. Growing up, I really could not understand how some of my friends could not read well - and some at all. Truth be told, even as an adult it bothers me to see other adults who read and write like grade schoolers. I've always enjoyed reading as a recreational activity; however, ever since 2005 reading has become more of a self-educational mandate. I have to read in order to succeed.

When I made the decision to become a professional speaker, the first question I asked myself was "What do you have to say?" The next question I asked myself was, "What's it based on - how are you gonna' back it up?" The answer for me was to commit myself to reading because it would broaden my ideas and views.

You can succeed at almost anything you set your mind to, but it's not going to come to you just because you want it. Whatever it is you want to do, you're going to have to learn how to do it. Whether you teach yourself or take some kind of formal training, the first step towards succeeding is learning. 

In many trades, you're not considered a "professional" unless you served as an apprentice for a period of time. Donald Trump had a #1 television show named just that, "The Apprentice." On this show, a group of young hardworking businesspeople would compete for an opportunity to work for and learn from Donald Trump.

As I said in the beginning, reading is my primary source of learning. As a speaker and Life Coach, my messages are focus on the opportunities people have or must create in order to improve themselves. The books I read contain centuries' worth of wisdom. The information contained within those books provide all of the tools necessary to make life better. However, before I can give that information to my audiences and readers, I have to validate it to some extent myself. This leads me to the next rung on this ladder.

IMPLEMENT: In 1998, when I was 18, I bought a book entitled "UNLIMITED POWER" by Anthony Robbins. I bought the book because I was moved by an infomercial I saw late one night. I read the first few pages; after which I put the book down, not to pick it up again until some ten years later. At 28 years old, I read that book from cover to cover, and in those pages I learned lessons that - had they been learned and applied at 18, I would have saved myself a whole lot of grief!

When I read that book, I was going through a few things, so I also picked up a couple of other books; "How to Win Friends & Influence People" by Dale Carnegie and "Think & Grow Rich" by Napoleon Hill. The lessons I learned in those books changed my life; not just because I read those books, but because I implemented those lessons and effected changes in my life.

I learned how to change my moods and formulate positive outlooks, how to deal with all kinds of people, and how to see people for who they are - especially in spite of how they think they may be portraying themselves. In a short period of time, I began to see changes take effect, both within myself and in those around me.

There's a saying that goes, "If you don't use it, you're guaranteed to lose it." What good is served by not taking advantage of using what you have learned? This is why if learning is the first step towards success, implementation is the very next one. You have to use what you have learned in order to prove or disprove its effectiveness in your life. This brings me to a very important point; that being, you are not bound to the path you're on. You are allowed to change your mind.

There are two reasons why people say and believe that politicians lie. One reason is that many of them do, and the other reason is because people delude themselves into believing that what is said today is going to be what they will hold the politician to for his or her entire term.

For example, a politician - while campaigning may say something like he won't raise taxes and get elected because of having taken that position. Two years into his term, his constituents complain about things like rising crime rates and the quality of sanitation throughout the city. 

They also want a summer jobs program for teenagers so that they're doing something constructive over the summer. How does the city government pay for more cops & their necessary equipment, more garbage-men and their necessary equipment and that jobs program? They might have to raise taxes. Now, is that politician a liar for now having to tell the people in order to get what they want their taxes are going to have to go up? I don't think so ... but that's just me.

I use that as an example to show that there are times when you must realize there may come a time when you will have to change course. The only way you'll be able to rightfully make that determination is by implementing what you have learned and seeing what works versus what doesn't work.

When you see what works for you, you know you can keep going with it and even improve upon it. When you see what doesn't work, you can evaluate it and determine if what you're doing can be repaired by making minor changes or if it needs to be replaced entirely by making greater changes. What is the act that allows you to make that determination either way? Implementation.

SUCCEED: This is ultimately what happens when you put in the work necessary to learn your craft and implement the skills you've learned. One of the things I have learned in my studies is that those who are successful got there by doing all of the right things; however, they learned how to do all of the right things by having done many of the wrong things.

Success is more than everything going all well and hunky-dory. Success does not come easy, nor is it supposed to. Success is not a destination to be reached; rather it is a series of accomplishments to be appreciated while on this journey we call "life." Success exists to show us what's possible when we do good works.

I have a confession to make. I have this guilty pleasure of watching all kinds of reality shows. The reality of this genre of "reality T.V." is that it is anything but reality. How is someone surprised to see who's on the other side of the door when there are cameramen in place on both sides of the door? 

In any case, the types of shows I watch are the ones featuring celebrities or rich people. I kind of study them. I can watch some of these shows and tell who has actually earned their money, and who just caught a lucky break. All in all, I like seeing how people who have money handle their money.

I always encounter people who talk about how unimportant money is when it comes to having a good life. Now, I will stipulate that it is very important to have loving relationships and spiritual fulfillment, but if I have to choose between having those things living in an apartment or a in a nice house; taking the bus or driving a car, and either feeling nothing but my thigh when I reach into my pocket or being able to reach in and pull out a money clip holding a couple hundred dollars ... I'm going to take the latter choice every day of the week and twice on Sunday!

Many people who talk the most about money not being important don't have much of it and are not willing to (1) learn or improve their skills, and (2) implement or put that knowledge to work. Because of this, they do not get to partake in (3) the success. Now for me, I have no problem seeing money and all of the good I can do with it as a measure of success; but again, that's just me! 

Ultimately, success comes when you do what you do well and it not only shows, but it rewards you. The "rewards" are reflective of whatever your endeavoring to succeed at and does not have to be about money.

Finally, I want to share with you why I believe many people choose not to learn, implement, and thus succeed. Many will tell you that they don't put forth "x" amount of effort because they don't want to fail. No offense, but that's just a load of crap. No - seriously, that's a cop-out and I'm not going to accept it.

People don't strive to succeed because they're afraid of failing; they fail to strive because they're afraid of succeeding. You see, learning takes work. Implementing is work; and while success is a manifestation of a job well done, once achieved it has to be maintained - otherwise it was just a fluke, a stroke of blind luck. 

Additionally, in order to succeed even further, it's going to take even more learning, even more implementation ... even more work! You see, becoming successful takes work. Staying and becoming more successful takes more work. So I submit to you that people aren't afraid of failure. They're afraid of succeeding because of the work involved in achieving, maintaining and ascending even higher.

PROFESS: Now almost every other week, someone comes to me asking how they can go about getting their book published. What's funny to me is that when I began my journey as a writer, I didn't really have anyone I knew whom I could ask for advice. 

There was one guy on my MySpace buddy list (yeah ... that's how far back I'm going) who pointed me in the direction of the company I chose to self-publish the first edition of my book. In any case, I don't mind passing on what I have learned. If it serves to make the next person's path a little easier to travel then I am fulfilling a valuable service while on my journey.

The best thing you can do for another human being is to teach him or her something. Pass on your knowledge. It can be showing someone what to do and how to do it, or even showing someone what not to do. Many tactics used by police around the country and around the world stem from having learned from a previous tragedy. 

When you profess what you have been able to accomplish, you show people all throughout the world what's possible for them. Anyone can become successful at just about anything if they first believe it to be possible. Sometimes a little bit of faith is all it takes. 

As long as you have something to learn, you have something to teach. After all, what are teachers in college called? PROFESSors ... Professors teach what they have learned. When something good happens to you, it is human nature that you "profess" your good fortune. Even when something bad happens and you share that experience as a warning, you are "professing."

If a man gets taken to the cleaners in a divorce, he professes that experience to someone who is about to get married and advises the person to get a prenuptial agreement. Something I always say to people is, "If you see me scraping dog-mess off my shoe and I tell you to watch your step, are you going to go marching blindly into the area to find out for yourself or are you going to take my word for it?" Yeah, the visual is graphic, but it's equally effective.

There's a program used in prisons all over the country to attempt to keep at-risk youth out of the prison system. It goes by many different names, but the first one was and is still called "Scared Straight," and was started at East Jersey State Prison in New Jersey. The way it works is simple. A group of teenagers are taken to the prison and shown what goes on inside, but this ain't no ordinary tour!

The reason why is because the "tour guides" are the inmates ... convicted felons who are serving anywhere from a few years up to multiple life sentences. These are people who are using the L.I.S.P. formula to the max! How you might ask? Well let's examine that. Many of them:

LEARNED how to break the law.

IMPLEMENTED what they learned to keep on breaking the law.

They SUCCEEDED at breaking the law (until they got caught).

And now they PROFESS their experiences; past and present, to the youth with the hope that they will be "SCARED STRAIGHT."

If you've never seen the documentary of the same name, let me tell you that for the most part it's highly effective. In fact, I would say it's as effective today as it was when it was filmed in the 1978.

The L.I.S.P. formula serves a variety of purposes. It improves you and allows you to improve those around you. It has been employed for centuries all around the world. It has even been used in your family. If you used what you learned from the experiences shared with you by your parents; then created and endured your own experiences, and then taught or presently teach your children accordingly, then you are knee-deep in the use of the formula ... as were your parents and their parents before them.

If you are looking for a way to improve your life, this is it. It doesn't matter how you want to better yourself; nor does it matter in which area you want to improve your life, this formula works! It's become a way of life for me, and can be for you as well; however, as with everything else in life, in order for the formula to work ... you are going to have to work! As Jack Canfield says in and about his book, The Success Principles, "The principles work, but only if you work them." 

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Can't vs. Won't ©

I consider myself to be an active observer. I don’t take many things at face value. I try to analyze just about everything I see and everything I hear. The reason why, is that there are a lot of dishonest people out there and if you’re not on your toes then you stand a likely chance of being deceived or otherwise taken advantage of.

Even though I made the decision to become a motivational speaker a while before having made the decision to become a writer, the truth is I am a lot more comfortable with a pen in my hand than I am with a microphone in my face. I love writing because there is no better way to release my feelings and then either learn from or be held accountable for my words.

When I first released Find A Way, many of those who bought a copy said things like “I can’t even begin to think about how to write a book.” Many of those who declined to buy a copy said things like, “I can’t find the time to read.” Now it’s just my nature that when someone tells me that they “can’t do something, I am compelled to ask them why can’t they do it. The short answer is usually, “I don’t know,” and the long answers usually consist of a laundry list of useless excuses that I really don't want to waste time listening to.

Now as I said, I read into the words that people use. It takes effort, time and practice – but if you were to learn to apply yourself to learning how to read people, you can develop the ability to tell a person’s true intentions by what they say. Sometimes you can take a statement at face value, but trust me, it is an amazing thing to be able to read a person by how and what they say. Ironically, there are times when people say exactly what they mean when they least expect it.

Let’s examine the first response I mentioned, “I can’t even begin to think about how to write a book.” The most important part of that statement is the first half of it: “I – CAN’T – EVEN – BEGIN – TO – THINK.” Now, that is a proclamation of accepting a foundation for failure if I ever heard one! Our brains start running even before we are born and they don’t stop until we die. As a matter of fact, even if everything else in our bodies is working fine; if through the result of some kind of trauma your brain dies, then you are dead … “brain dead.” Sadly, there are many people walking around who are "brain dead," but without the trauma.

Within reason there is not much that we as a species “can’t” do. The word “can’t” is a mysteriously powerful word because it has the power to stop anyone from doing anything. The reality is, when a person tells himself or herself that they “can’t” do something, there’s a 99.999% chance that they “won’t” do it, and when someone has declared that they “won’t” do something that remaining .001% is locked in and; if left completely up to them, they don’t do it.

So when someone says they “can’t” do something, it is more likely that than not that what they are in fact doing is creating for themselves a false sense of security that insulates them from having to have the courage to say they “won’t” do something. In short, they are afraid to be honest with both themselves and you and tell you that they just won’t do a given thing.

Think about it … “I CAN’T FIND THE TIME …” We only get 24 hours in a day – no matter where you are on the planet; and since that’s not likely to change anytime soon, what that person is really saying is, “I won’t find the time.”

When I asked one Lieutenant if he would buy a copy of Find A Way, he told me flat out, “If it’s not on the list of books for the Captain’s exam, I’m not reading it. I don’t have the time for recreational reading.” Now, on the surface, one might take that as a rejection. But taking his words at face value, I felt no such rejection. You see, this man was focused on a particular goal and his decisions revolved around that goal. Because he was actively allocating whatever may have been deemed to be “free time” towards reading only the literature that will aid him in his goal of being promoted to the rank of Captain, he in fact can’t, won’t and does not have the time for “recreational reading.”

Think of every modern convenience you enjoy and ask yourself if you would be enjoying them if the inventors of those conveniences had succumbed to the word “can’t?” think of every successful thing you’ve ever done and ask yourself where would you be if you had convinced yourself you couldn’t do it. There is very little we “can’t” do, within reason, but then a great many accomplishments were achieved by people who decided they were going to be unreasonable in achieving their goals. When you tell yourself and or others that you “can’t,” what you are really telling yourself and them is that you “won’t.” It’s a disguise, a cloak … no … it’s a sham. Again, think about this the next time you find yourself saying or being told, “I can’t find the time.”

“'Can’t' is nothing more than a coat that ‘won’t’ wears inside our minds to falsely  justify and provide an excuse for the self-imposed imprisonment of our own true potential” (HSRjr.)

Anyone is capable of anything if the payoff is great enough. People take action when they believe and feel they have to. There are only two factors that determine how hot the flame under their bottom is going to be: reward & punishment. In other words, people can and will when they are faced with having to either maximize their reward, or minimize/avoid punishment.

The next time someone tells you they “can’t” do something; first understand that he or she is telling you that they won’t do it. Next, if circumstances allow, ask them two questions:

1. Why can’t they do it?
2. What would it take to make them be able to do it?

Make a conscious effort to ask yourself these questions the next time you find yourself saying “I can’t.” Face yourself and determine if it is something you are actually incapable of or just something you are unwilling to do? As you travel along on your journey, before you become capable of reading other people, you must first learn to read yourself. You have to be able to find your flaws and face them. You have to be able to have a sense of clarity about who you are, and why you do what you do – or don’t do. There’s an old African proverb that goes, “If there’s no enemy within, the enemy without can do you no harm.”

Surprise! You’re at the end of the chapter. Don’t be surprised that this is the shortest chapter in the book. Words like “can’t” and “won’t” are soul-sucking and life draining words and I do not care to spend much time focusing on them.

One evening while helping my (then 8 year old) niece, Bryanna with her homework, she got frustrated and told me, “I can’t do it Uncle Harold.” When I asked her why she couldn’t do it she told me because it was hard. I tried to explain to her the fundamentals behind the concept of “hard” not equating to “impossible” but then I remembered that I was talking to an 8 year old – at which time I simply said, “repeat after me … ‘I CAN’T SAY  - I CAN’T’.”

At that point, I let her take a ten minute break from her homework and then we went right back to work and I showed her a different way to solve her problem; a way that she was then able to better understand. The most important lesson I taught her was not about her homework. It was about overcoming obstacles. I taught her, as I am teaching you, that when you come across a particular obstacle, it does not necessarily have to be an insurmountable one. However, when you tell yourself “I can’t” you are giving yourself permission to say “I won’t,” and I wasn’t willing to let her precious strong mind fall victim to that monster so early in her life.

We are capable of doing miraculous things with just the right amount of instruction, motivation and faith, and just because you might not be able to do a particular thing now that does not mean that you are forever incapable of doing it … unless you quit. In my book … this one as well as in Find A Way, quitting – like failure – is not an option. Those who say they “can’t,” (succeed) won’t (succeed), and those who won’t (succeed) … don’t (succeed).

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Q: W.I.F.F.M.? (What's In It For Me?) A: You Get What You Deserve ©

Kyam McMorris is one of my closest friends, and also one of my closest brothers within Groove Phi Groove Social Fellowship Inc®. In our college days we called each other “wingmen,” which was taken from the movie TOP GUN when Tom Cruise’s character was told, “You never leave your wingman.” Up until he left New Jersey, Kyam and I were practically inseparable. We stood by one another at each other's weddings and I even stood by him during his divorce. Few people know what the words friendship and loyalty mean. Kyam is one of those people who do Kyam also has an extremely disciplined work ethic. When people tell me that I work too hard, I always have a silent inside laugh because Kyam does little else but work.

Back in 1996, I had a job as a Program Director for one of a small chain of karate schools called “Master Glazier Karate (MGK).” “MGK” was later bought out by an even larger chain, “Tiger Schulmann’s Karate (TSK).” Prior to, and for a short time after TSK’s takeover, my job as Program Director was to enroll students and oversee the operation of the school. I got Kyam a job as an Office Manager, which under the surface of the title was nothing more than a receptionist and housekeeper. However, I wanted more for Kyam, and since he wanted more for himself, I began training him on how to do my job so that he could have a chance to move up in the organization.

This job required about twelve hours a day Monday through Friday and about eight hours on Saturday (including travel time), but since we were actually enjoying our jobs and getting free karate lessons, the hours were not really taxing on us.

Things were really going great and Kyam was learning so quickly that he was allowed to sit in on the weekly Program Director meetings with the CEO, “Shihan” Mark Glazier (“Shihan” is the title bestowed upon one who has achieved the rank of “master”). Additionally, Glazier was the first real millionaire I had ever met.

Unfortunately, approximately six months into working for MGK, certain business decisions lead to Glazier selling his schools to TSK. Now, the way TSK operates, everyone who works for the TSK organization is a student of the TSK organization – even the instructors.

There were quite a few people who lost their jobs in this little transition; however, Kyam, myself, and a couple of other Program Directors were kept on by way of Shihan Glazier’s personal recommendation. Kyam was the only non-Program Director kept on; however, over the course of about three months we both wound up quitting. We felt no loyalty to TSK, and they looked down on us like they were somehow better than us as people because their organization bought out ours.

Despite our personal individual reasons for leaving TSK, we both shared that point of view. Me ... I went back into doing security work in my hopes of it somehow leading towards my career in Law Enforcement. Kyam got a job managing a Quick Chek store. Since I had gone back to working retail, I figured I was working crazy hours, but being that Quick Chek stores are open 24 hours a day, Kyam was working really crazy hours! However, he was also looking for something better and eventually found it.

Kyam got himself a job as an Admissions Representative for a business school. The job came easy to him because it was basically what I had been training him to do as a Program Director for MGK. Going into his new position, he maintained that six day a week work ethic, and after his divorce, often times put in seven days a week.

After about three or four years of consistently diligent work he got promoted from Admissions Representative to Assistant Director of Admissions. He became the “go-to” guy because of all of the time he had put in and all of the knowledge he acquired. He began getting bonuses every year and even once got an all-expenses paid trip to Hawaii, where he rubbed elbows with a lot of top-level executives within the school’s corporate structure.

About a year after that trip to Hawaii, he was offered a promotion from Assistant Director of Admissions to full Director of Admissions. The only catch was that the job was at the organization’s school in Landover, Maryland. Within a couple of months, I lost my wingman. However, I could not have been more proud of my friend, my brother! As I write these lines, he’s been out there just around 5 years.  About two months after he got settled, he called me up one Sunday afternoon and sounded like someone had just died. When I asked him what was wrong, he told me he was considering moving back to New Jersey.

When I asked him what was the cause for this decision after all he had accomplished, he told me that the team he was promoted to lead “was just too laid back.” As a matter of fact the entire community where he lived was very much laid back – at least in comparison to how we hustle in the New Jersey, New York, Connecticut – tri-state area.

During our conversation, he introduced me to a phrase/acronym I had never heard of before. He said, “These (expletive)’s got a bad case of W.I.I.F.M.” (pronounced “wiff-em”). When I asked him what that meant he translated the acronym as “What’s in it for me?” He told me that his team cared more about how they were going to be rewarded for achieving their admission goals, as opposed to just achieving those goals because it was their job to do so. Apparently, their paycheck wasn’t good enough. They wanted incentives and rewards up front in order for them to produce, and because he never worked that way; because that was never a part of his work ethic; it was really stressing him out.

The first thing I suggested to him was to better understand why he was promoted and brought there in the first place. I said to him, “You were not promoted so that you could go to Maryland and continue to work 27 hours a day/8 days a week. Those executives put you there so that you could instill that same work ethic in your team and thus multiply the productivity you created that initially caught their attention.” I reminded him that as a leader, even though it’s his responsibility to lead by example, his team must follow that example. As for that whole “W.I.I.F.M.” thing, I suggested that he give his team a choice ... “a paycheck or a pink-slip.”

You see, that’s the problem with a great many members of society today. “What’s in it for me?” ... “What do I get out of it?” Bonuses are not to be considered as an automatic compensation. Bonuses are rewards for exceeding your goals. The problem these days is people want to be acknowledged and or rewarded just for doing what’s expected of them, and this is a very unproductive way of thinking.

Should a child be rewarded for getting one “A” on one test, or for getting straight “A’s for the entire marking period? In my opinion, perhaps he or she has earned a night or two off from doing dishes or taking out the garbage, but nothing too fantastic or extravagant. Why? A child is supposed to get good grades in school. After all, what’s more important, that children earn a letter grade or actually learn something from having put in the work required of them by studying?

Now, if that same child were to maintain a stellar grade point average over the course of the entire school year, I would then say that child earned something special – say the honor of choosing where the family goes for a summer vacation, just for an example.

Kyam has gone to work every day and done what was required of him ... and then some. He put in the time necessary ... and then some – to achieve his assigned goals. As a result, his rewards came in the form of accolades, all-expense paid trips, and a promotion. He got what he deserved. A couple weeks after he and I had that conversation, he informed me that a couple of people on his team wound up getting that pink-slip instead of their paychecks!

I think by now you are fully aware that you are on a journey, however, if you are truly on a journey of success, then you have to develop a work ethic similar to (but not necessarily as extreme as) Kyam’s work ethic. Do your job. Do what is required of you first and foremost.

However, if you want to have more, or in some way be specially rewarded, then you are going to have to do more than what is required of you! Rewards and bonuses are things that you earn – not things you are entitled to. The harder and smarter he worked, Kyam never got more than he deserved; he always got more of what he deserved.

One thing is constant for the majority of the American workforce: people who get paid just enough to keep them from quitting work just hard enough to keep from getting fired. Those who are committed to succeeding work harder than the average person. They don’t necessarily need to see the light at the end of the tunnel (the bonus or the raise) – they just know and or have faith that it’s there. They know and or have faith that the harder they plug away; the further they go beyond what’s expected of them, not only do they get closer to that light at the end of the tunnel ... that light starts coming towards them!

The universe always maintains its balance and keeps its own time, so one thing is always certain; what I call a “universal constant,” and that is you will always get what you deserve. Those who live their lives by that “W.I.I.F.M.” principle will be the ones not likely to like what they get.

As fate would have it, in the summer of 2012, his school was closed and while those other people that worked for him were left in the wind, he wound up getting scooped up by another school.

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HRJR Enterprises ©

Motivators need & have motivators and coaches need & have coaches. I have mine, do you have yours?

HRJR Enterprises is a business and life coaching consultation firm that focuses on people achieving massive success by encouraging them to face, fight & free themselves from their fears and flaws.

I specialize in getting people "unstuck" by getting them to articulate exactly where they want to be, acknowledging exactly where they are, as well as learning and drawing strength from where they have been. However, I do not succeed unless and until my clients begin seeing the changes they want; and for me, failure is not an option. Having said that, I must inform you that getting to where you see those changes is not an easy process.

You may contact me for a FREE consultation to discuss your interest in receiving Coaching. Inbox me or call ... My phone number is (848) 207-HRJR

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Dealing with Disagreeable People ©

It's almost 5am and instead of being deep in slumber, I am deep in thought. So this is me exorcising a little mental demon.

I'm not always right. I'm not always wrong. I speak my mind in my space, not in anyone else's. But I'm really curious as to why is it so important to some people that I care if they disagree with me if they're only disagreeing for the sake of being disagreeable?

Them: You're wrong.
Me: Can you prove me wrong?
Them: I disagree with what you said.
Me: That doesn't make me wrong, but I accept that you disagree.
Them: I can't talk to you.
Me: Because you disagree, or because I can accept that you disagree without changing my position?
Them: You only want to talk to people who agree with you.
Me: Not necessarily, but how does your disagreement benefit either of us? Why not just acknowledge that what I said doesn't work for YOU and keep it moving?
Them: You never listen.
Me: Interesting ... I disagree. Here's a question, if you disagree with me so much, why do you pay me any attention at all?
Them: .....

There are a good 4 or 5 people I have this kind of conversation with several times a year. I don't speak to everyone. I speak to those who are willing to receive what I have to say. If some people are not receptive to it, then it wasn't for them to receive. I just find it amusing that people get upset if I say something they don't get or want to accept. It's like they've come to see me do something for them that I didn't deliver. The only thing is ... They CHOOSE to be in a space where they receive my commentary.

Therefore, I have decided to post my thoughts & beliefs here from now on. Anyone reading HERE has made a conscious effort to be here and thus must assume accountability for their own discomfort or disagreement and can take that yoke and put it back around their own necks.

Ahhh ... I feel so much better now ... Good Night/Morning.

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Embracing the Darkness ©

"Man that is born of a woman is of few days, and full of trouble."
~Job 14:1

I want to share with you a new concept. As always, I ask that you don’t trust me at face value. I ask that you treat this as you would clothes you’re trying on at the store. If it fits, go with it. If it doesn’t, discard it. Not every concept is a perfect fit for everyone. Go with what works for you.

In this chapter I’m going to talk to you about darkness. The only thing bad about darkness, or the state thereof, is that you can’t see; at least, not outwardly. When you find yourself in a state of darkness you should use that time to find calmness and stillness and begin to live and think within yourself. By doing this, in time, you can find the very answers needed in order to be brought to the enlightenment or freedom you claim to be seeking.

Negative results stem from negative behavior, and negative behavior is a result of moving around in a state of darkness. If you find yourself in a totally darkened room, and you just run about here and there, you will likely bump into one object or another – a couch here, a table there. However, if you’re calm and still, you will take the time to navigate yourself throughout the darkness feeling around until you find the light switch to enlighten the room or the door that will lead you out of the darkness.

I call this concept “Embracing the Darkness.” You see, most people – all of us I’ll bet – were afraid of the dark when we were kids. Why? Well in our minds as children maybe it was because we thought that the Boogeyman lived in our closets or that there was a werewolf under our beds. The reality is we were more afraid of the dark. Not that our young minds could comprehend it then, but darkness is a mental metaphor for the unknown, and it is a universal human trait to fear the unknown.

As we got older, we realized that the only things living in our closets and under our beds were our clothes, toys and shoes. We even outgrew our fear of the dark, but the fear of the unknown is so deeply embedded in our human nature that it stays along for the ride for the rest of our lives. The challenge we have is conquering that fear, and believe it or not, we conquer it all the time – many times without even realizing it and other times because we have no choice but to “man-up” and face it.

I’m sure there were several times in your childhood when your mother said “Wait until your father gets home!” or felt that queasiness in your stomach when you were sitting outside of the Principal’s office – which probably led to the whole “Wait until your father gets home” thing. Even if you knew what was coming, there was still some fear, but when the moment of truth came, there was no running away from it. There was no way out of it, so you dealt with whatever happened and went on with the rest of your life. Life works in the exact same way.

It works in the exact same way because life is full of “moments of truth,” and how you come out of those "moments of truth" is based on how prepared you are to face them. Have you ever asked someone to dance? “Moment of truth.” That first kiss during or at the end of a date? “Moment of truth.” Making love for the first time?  Absolute “moment of truth.”

Now, what is the best preparation for successfully facing these moments of truth? Believing above all else in yourself and your ability to come out on top. This was how David beat Goliath. How James “Buster” Douglas beat Mike Tyson, and how Donald trump climbed out of over $900 million dollars of debt.

Speaking of Trump, in one of his books he tells a story of a time when he pointed out a homeless man to his daughter and said “that man is richer than me right now.” Why? Because he had to make back nearly a billion dollars to have the same "zero" cash flow that homeless man had. I don’t know about you, but I don’t even want to imagine what $900 million dollars worth of darkness is like, but if Trump can do that, then I figure I can at least find a way to keep the lights on and food on the table – and so can you.

Many people go through life thinking that if they just think happy thoughts, they’ll minimize the negative times in their lives. I don’t completely disagree with this line of thinking; however, more often than not, many of these “positive thinkers” are actually ignoring the possibility of negativity popping up, so when it does – because at some point it always does – it comes as a devastating surprise.

Why? Because they were so busy “thinking positive” that they never or barely stopped to think about the infamous “What if?” Remember, a minute ago I told you that facing your “moments of truth” requires preparation. What is any one of life’s given hardships if not a “moment of truth?”

Now when I use the term “embracing the darkness,” I do not mean to become one with it. I mean for you not to run from it. I mean for you to find the courage – even fake the courage if you have to – to take a hold of it and take control of it, very much the same way a wild stallion is tamed.

The cowboy gets on the horse and rides that bronco as it jumps and bucks all over the place. The cowboy might – and often does – fall off of the horse, but the first rule of horse riding is if you fall, get right back on that horse – and that’s just what the cowboy does. He rides that horse until it gets tired of bucking. The horse realizes that the cowboy is the one who is in charge and becomes tame. “Embracing the darkness” means facing and fighting your fears and seeing your negative situations for what they are – experiences that will come and eventually go.

When it comes to facing your fears, you can either be the cowboy breaking the bronco, or you can let your fear control you – and you become the bronco that gets broken. Sadly, many people go through life like herds of broken and tamed horses … broken by disappointments and tamed of that wild spirit to dream and work to see those dreams come true.

I don’t have to tell you that dark times will come. You know they’re coming because they’ve already come. Maybe you lost an account or got passed over for a promotion. The woman you saw dancing all night suddenly has a case of sore feet when you ask her to dance. The guy you thought was winking at you was actually interested in your girlfriend sitting next to you. You survived all of these things and you will survive whatever else will come.

What I want is for you to not allow your spirit to be tamed. Don’t ignore the infamous “What if?” hiding in the darkness of the unknown. Instead, charge right into it! Face the “What if?” because only when you face the “What if?” will you find the answer to it. If the “What if?” hasn’t happened yet, you will have prepared a battle plan for it, and if the “What if?” happens to be “What is,” you will develop your battle plan to fight your way out of the darkness!

Don’t be afraid of the dark! Even the bible tells us that in the beginning there was darkness. It’s nothing more than a tunnel you have to go through. You might lose radio and cell phone reception; there may be moments when you might not be able to see your hand before your face, but if you keep moving forward you will get through it and into the light!

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Becoming Better at Becoming Better ©

As human beings, we all come from the same genetic stuff. We come into this world as blank slates and empty sponges. Wherever God saw fit to drop us off on this planet, we have to make due with whatever resources we have available to us. Therefore I submit to you that if you take an infant of any given ethnicity or nationality, and raise him or her in a culture completely opposite of that infant's nationality, that infant's personality will grow and develop based upon that culture wherein which he or she was raised. So you get what you got and you rock with it!

There is no sense in wishing you were born somewhere else or wishing that you were born someone else. You are who you are, where you are; and if you're not happy with who you are and or where you are, then it's up to you to change who you are and where you are!

I can practically read most of your minds right now. Most of you are thinking "that's easier said than done!" Or "why don't you just tell me how to do it then?!" Well first off, you don't get off that easily. Changing who you are or what your condition is, is not an easy thing to do - nor is it supposed to be. If it were easy to go from "ain't got" to "got plenty," everyone would be doing it and there would be virtually no poverty in the world.

But it's only a select few who actually realize this and put it to work in their lives. As for the other side of the coin ... those who are thinking, "Why don't you just tell me how to do it then?!" I cannot tell each and every individual what he or she needs to do in each of their lives. But you see, these are the people who are looking for someone to blame when beset with the setbacks that come along the way of bettering oneself.

You want me to tell you exactly where you invest your money. You want me to tell you each and every move I made on my journey. Well that's not going to happen. It's like the old proverb "give a man a fish, he eats for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he'll eat for the rest of his life."

I must admit, when I first began my journey of improving myself I too wanted the answers spoon-fed to me. But the more I read; and the more and more I studied, the more I realized that I wasn't being given fish - I was being taught how to fish, and "fishing" is nothing more than implementing into your life that which you have learned. The "fish" are a metaphor indicative of the type of results you've created. Sometimes I caught big fish; sometimes I caught small fish, and other times I caught no fish and had to reevaluate my technique and actions.

So it all comes down to you! Yeah, it would be nice if someone came along and just gave you a million dollars, but since that's not likely to happen should you want that million dollars any less? Of course not ... that just doesn't make any sense. If you want that million dollars, what's stopping you from getting it yourself? The answer is ... YOU.

Repeat after me: "I WANT A MILLION DOLLARS!" Say it again ... "I WANT A MILLION DOLLARS!”... Shhhh ... Look around … Listen! Did you hear him? Who? ... The person who was saying that you can’t have a million dollars. Personally, I've know I've heard him. You might not hear him or her now but at some time in your life, you have been him - or her. The only person telling you what you are not capable of, who has enough clout for you to believe it is yourself.

There are billions of us scattered all over and across the planet; however, we are not of one consciousness. Each of us has our own individual mental space ... our own individual way of thinking. We are who and what we are based upon what we think of ourselves. We become what we want to become (or not) based upon what we think we're capable of (or not).

There is no reason why we should not have hundreds - or even thousands of Martin Luther King Jr’s., Malcolm X’s, Michael Jordan's, Muhammad Ali’s, Michael Jackson’s, Jay-Z’s, Beyoncé's, Denzel Washington’s, Oprah Winfrey's, Bill Gates, Warren Buffet’s and Donald Trump’s running around ... and not just in this country! Remember we're all made of the same stuff.

You can look at those who I have named and tell that these are people who are at the top of their games now, or were at the top of their game before they died. Dead or alive, they each are irreplaceable. Many of them had nurturing upbringings and perhaps others had to dig a little deeper, but out of all of those people I named, there was and are only one of those people and we will not likely see anyone in our lifetimes that will equal their greatness.

There were a whole lot of Baptist ministers who wanted equal rights for black people but there was only one Martin Luther King Jr. There were many ministers in the Nation of Islam in the 40’s and 50’s, there was only one Malcolm X. Out of hundreds of talented basketball players, only one Michael Jordan. In the 1980’s, there were all kinds of talk shows. Geraldo Rivera, Phil Donahue, Sally Jesse Raphael ... but the queen was Oprah Winfrey.

What makes these people the best at what they do? What makes them any better than anyone else? Those who are/were at the top of their fields are/were not there on sheer talent alone. Talent and ability can take you far; however, there are millions of people with talent and ability out there. The key ingredient that takes talent and ability to a higher level is boldness. You have got to be bold! You've got to cultivate your game and stake your claim. You've got to know that you've got the right stuff and be bold enough to convince the person on the other side of the table that they need it!

Why can't you be a success? What's stopping you? Who’s stopping you? Just like there can be only one of the individuals who were previously named, there can be only one you; and when your life’s journey comes to an end, your legacy will be defined by how you utilized the gifts with which you came into this world.

Whatever it is that you do, or whatever it is that you do not do with your life; with your skills, with the talents that God gave you ... these will be the things that will bring either joy or drama into your life. The harder you work, and the smarter you work ... these will be the things that determine how much happiness and even financial freedom you will be able to bring into your life.

There is genius in all of us. There is greatness in all of us. Each and every one of us was placed on this planet with a gift, talent or skill to contribute to make this world a better place. The challenge lies in finding what it is you want to do, finding what is you love to do, and finding what it is that you can do that will be of benefit to yourself and to others.

Next, you have to build that skill the same as you would strengthen a muscle. And like strengthening a muscle, there will be pain involved. But it's a good kind of pain. It's the kind of pain that makes you better. That makes you stronger. That makes you faster … and can even make you richer!

Watch a football game on “any given Sunday.” Those hits hurt. Watch a baseball game. I'm certain it is not a pleasant feeling to get hit by an 80-90 mph fastball; or to be running at top speed, looking up into the sky to catch a ball, and slam into a wall. It cannot be an easy thing to be 270 or 280 pounds and have to run up and down a basketball court. But in each of these sports, that's what these athletes do; and in each of these sports, there are those who rise above the rest.

There are those who start the game, and there are those who ride the bench. There are those who sit in the stands, and there are those who watch on TV at home. Wherever those people are is a barometer of how much they said yes or no to themselves. The same applies in every other aspect of life.

In just about any team, or even a group of friends or co-workers, there is one person who sets him- or herself above the rest. Diana Ross did it with the Supremes; Michael and Janet Jackson did it with their brothers & sisters; Beyonce’ Knowles did it with Destiny’s Child; and her husband, Shawn “Jay-Z” Carter did it with Damon Dash and Kareem Biggs when they started Roca-Fella Records.
At some point in time, the “Alpha” mentality rears its head, and the one who is most bitten by the bug steps up – works harder than the rest, and reaps the rewards for having done so.

What’s stopping you from becoming that person bitten by that "Alpha" bug? I cannot reiterate enough that we all are made from the same stuff. We all have greatness within us. Those of us who do not experience the happiness or sense of fulfillment we truly desire are either not adequately tapping into that greatness to achieve our desired result, or not tapping into it at all.

When I was on the football team my freshman year in high school, my job was to keep the bench from spontaneously flying off into space. I never played because I did not put forth the effort required to earn a position on the field. I put forth just enough effort to take up space on the team and that’s just what I did. However, there were other players who were getting their names in the newspaper every week because they were out there busting their tails to win.

From my sophomore year in high school throughout my freshman year in college, I was a fencer. I went from just learning the sport to being recognized as an All-State competitor on a two-time undefeated/two-time state championship team as well as an undefeated NCAA National Championship team in college. And you know what? As well as I did personally, there were others who were much better still!

In order to be or have the best you have to believe that you deserve the best. You have to then be willing to put forth the work necessary in order to earn and be worthy of being or having the best. You have to be brave enough and bold enough to step out in front and venture away from the pack.

Life is full of challenges. If you want to do and have more out of life, you will have to prove yourself worthy. If you don’t have what it takes and decide to let go of your dreams, life will let you. However, if you decide to succeed - although it will take time, and struggle, and sacrifice, if you prove yourself worthy … life will let you succeed.

I have come to learn – and I share with anyone who will listen – when you decide to step up and take a stand about setting and achieving a goal, the universe takes notice of you. Then life gets an e-mail to send Murphy’s Law a “911” page. At that point, Murphy’s Law sets out to pitch a tent in your backyard, and as you travel on your path to success, “whatever can go wrong will go wrong - and at the worst possible time!”

So when things go wrong - and they will, know that I want you to succeed "in spite of..." In spite of what exactly? Succeed in spite of anything and anyone, everything and everyone who would dare stand in your way. Don’t seek the company of people who will kiss your ass, but don’t tolerate the company of people who cannot, or worse, will not encourage you to press on during the lean and mean times.

Succeed in spite of what your family tells you. Often times your relatives will shatter your dreams under the guise of “being reasonable.” Reasonable people accept limitations – unreasonable people fight to exceed limitations. I dare you to find me a “reasonable” multi-millionaire.

Succeed in spite of what your friends tell you. The reason why you are friends in the first place is because you share common interests. Once you become “unreasonably motivated” towards your personal success, you threaten to break out of the comfort zone of your friendship. If your friends don’t have a larger vision of or for themselves, how can they share in yours?

“There is no progress without struggle. Those who profess to favor freedom and yet deprecate agitation, are men who want crops without plowing the ground, they want rain without thunder and lightning. They want the ocean without the awful roar of its many waters. This struggle may be a moral one, or it may be a physical one, and it may be both a moral and physical one, but it must be a struggle. Power concedes nothing without a demand. It never has and it never will.”

This was true over 150 years ago when Frederick Douglass said it, and I submit to you that no truer words could be spoken today.

Life is hard … So what! Succeed "in spite of." Never mind the naysayers. Frank Sinatra said it best: “The best revenge is massive success!”

WHY ARE YOU WHERE YOU ARE?

Where are you in your life right now? Are you happy where you are in your life? Are you where you want to be in your life? If you aren’t happy with whom and where you are in your life today, what exactly are you going to do about it? In case you’re not quite catching me … Yes, I am calling you out – and I am calling you out in such a way that cuts deeper than doing so publicly. I’m calling you out right here on this page. There’s no one around for you to say I’m embarrassing you; but since no one knows you better than yourself, you know now that I am calling you out before yourself. So again ... What are you gonna' do about it?

The fact of the matter is that most people are not totally happy with their lives. One thing I learned from the feedback I received from my first book “Find A Way to Make A Way!” is that as much as we’d like to think we lead individual lives, we all share the same experiences. We all have the same joys and pains and fears. These are the things that make up the human experience, and the name given to this experience is LIFE. Those who are the most fulfilled – the most successful are those who do the most to improve their lives.

Now, this is where the rubber really begins to meet the road. As I said, most people are not happy with where they are. Some of them are actively working to change their conditions. Some of them will focus on the areas that make them happy while ignoring the areas that are hard to face, and some do nothing and just accept where they are as where they were always destined to be. Respectively, I classify these people as the "emotionally" rich, middle class, and poor. Consequently, how these people tend to their "emotional" gardens equally manifests the outcomes of their material lives.

For the most part, the people I encounter either agree with me whole heartedly or disagree with me vehemently, but I am coming from a place of total honesty. Honesty with myself and the world we live in. While I am a firm believer in the value of emotional and spiritual fulfillment, neither keeps the bills paid … not directly. However, if you can find and do something that brings you both emotional and spiritual fulfillment, and an income; well then my friend, you have found life’s trifecta!

But let us return to the questions asked at the beginning. You see, only you can change your life for the better. Only you know what it will take to make you happy, and only you will know when you’ve achieved it. And all it takes to for you put yourself on that path is a little action. You have to be willing to take the first step. Once you’ve done that, the rest becomes easier.

When I first wrote this particular portion of context, it was just a couple of days after the first birthday of my youngest son, Justin. In the days leading up to his birthday, he was just crawling around looking cute and dribbling all over the place. On his birthday, my wife and I took him to get his first haircut, and surprisingly, afterwards it seemed like a brand new little personality was born! As if someone flicked on a light switch, he went from crawling to walking. First he was walking with some assistance, where as long as he had something lean on, he was on fire. Then about a week after that he stopped leaning against the walls & furniture. Now, he's running all over the place!

As you begin to take action to improve your life, you might need some assistance and that’s okay. For starters, that’s what I’m here for. As your coach, I am going to be both that wanted pat on the back and also that sometimes needed foot in the ass. As much as we need encouragement, we also need to be pushed – we need to be challenged. So again … just so that we’re clear here … I am challenging you. I am challenging you to face your fears and your flaws because until you do, you will not be totally happy. You might say that you’re happy and you might act like you’re happy; however, saying and acting happy are merely shadows of actually being happy.

Now is this to say that you have to subscribe to MY definition or standard of happiness? Absolutely not! My goal is to get you to see and acknowledge the obstacles you have been either ignoring and or avoiding; to encourage you to overcome those obstacles, and move onwards towards overcoming new ones because this is how you go about succeeding and taking your life to higher levels of greatness.

So … to answer the question, “Why are you where you are?” well, the answer is quite simple … because that is exactly where you need to be right now! If there is someplace else you’d rather be – literally or figuratively, then the onus in on you to get yourself there. If you want to shine in the spotlight of your success, then you’re going to have to get off your ass and start earning it!

HRJR Enterprises™ - All Rights Reserved.

THE VALUE OF IGNORANCE ©

One thing that really amazes me is how people function on what they think they know more so than on what they actually know. A lot of times; dare I say more than 90% of the time we learn new words by hearing them around us. We'll hear a new word on television, on the radio, overhearing someone else's conversation; or in direct conversation, and we may not know the literal definition of the word, but we get a feel for the word based on the context of the conversation.

If the word resonates with us, we will add it into our vocabulary and we will go on using it, and often without ever looking up the word. Now, a good portion of the time people get away with this, but then there are those occasional times when a person throws a word out there that they have absolutely no business using. This is a prime example of ignorance.

As a matter of fact, the word "ignorance" in and of itself is an even better example of what I am saying. One sure fire way to insult someone is to call him or her "ignorant." However, if the context in which the word is being used is factual; it's not an insult, it's a simple fact. Contrary to popular belief, "ignorance" does not mean an absence of intelligence. It means an absence of knowledge. The difference may be subtle, but then to better solidify the difference we'll have to examine the difference between intelligence and knowledge.

According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, intelligence means, "the ability to learn or understand or to deal with new or trying situations; also, the skilled use of reason." The word knowledge means "the fact or condition of knowing something with familiarity gained through experience or association." Therefore to be ignorant simply means not knowing about something ... NOT - not knowing anything.

The fact of the matter is that there are a great many things of which people are ignorant, but because they misunderstand the true meaning of the word, you will not likely come across someone who's readily willing to acknowledge their ignorance. However, this is yet another reason why so many people fail to reach new levels of success. If you do not admit or acknowledge that a problem exists, how can you go about solving or correcting it?
Something I always say is that when people make mistakes and suffer self-caused setbacks, it's basically because either they made a mistake of ignorance or they made a mistake of arrogance. When you make a mistake of ignorance, you simply didn't know any better. However, a mistake of arrogance occurs when you actually do know better than to follow a particular course of action, but act anyway. This is the cause of most people's failures in life. Just ask any convict who has accepted accountability for his or her present condition behind bars.

There is a Chinese proverb that says, "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear." The value of ignorance is in seeing it for what it is ... a lack of knowledge. Once you find yourself lacking in knowledge, you can go about filling that void and improving your life.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with acknowledging your ignorance. In fact, the acknowledgement of one's ignorance is the dawn of one's intelligence.

HRJR Enterprises ™ 2012 - All Rights Reserved.

WEALTH IS SOMETHING IN NEVER-ENDING ABUNDANCE ©

One of the most difficult things to make people understand is that there is more than enough of everything for everyone. The problem, as I see it, is that because people see something as out of reach, they think it's not theirs to have.

Actually, when people see something as out of reach, one of three things happens:
1. They reach out anyway and get what they want;
2. They reach out, don't get what they want, and never attempt to reach again.
3. They look, but never reach at all.

Those who reach out and get what they want are the ones who actually go all out to get what they want. The reaching is nothing more than putting in the required work to achieve the desired results. These people are vastly outnumbered by people in the other two categories.

Those who reach out; don't get what they want, and never attempt to reach again are the people who give up on what they're reaching for when they face any signs of adversity while they were reaching. Either no one told them that there would be rough patches along the way, or they just knew they were special enough or cute enough or connected enough to where they could just bypass those rough patches. These people feel as though they're above earning what they're yearning, which is why they never get what they want.

And then there are those who never reach at all and these people are the saddest. These are the people who have resigned themselves to accepting their circumstances because they don't believe they are supposed to have more. Their entire existence becomes one huge comfort zone.

Now if you are friends with people like this, guess what? You live inside of their comfort zone. You never asked to be there, but there you are. Now ... as long as you don't rock the boat and you just go with the flow there aren't any problems. However, if you decide that you want more out of your life, that's when all hell going to break loose because when you see yourself having more and go about doing more, that friend of yours sees less in him- or herself, and you become a threat to their comfort zone.

These are the people who believe that not everyone can be wealthy, but the fact of the matter is this ... Everyone could become wealthy if they were willing to learn and follow the rules acquire wealth. So, it's not that everyone can't become wealthy because there's not enough wealth in the world. The reality is everyone can't become wealthy because not everyone is willing to do what's required to become wealthy.

So what's required of us to become wealthy? MORE. We have to be willing to do more. How much? MORE. How much more? As much more as it takes to achieve your goal. Now, what exactly do you have to do? That depends on what you want to accomplish. The one thing I can guarantee you is that it's going to take time, and that is where people begin to lose hope.

People begin to lose hope because they're impatient, and when what they want to have doesn't come as quickly as they dreamed it would, they don't see it happening at all.
When people don't see something as possible for themselves, they don't see it as being possible for anyone. Yet and still, people all over the world become wealthy every day. You see, just because the world stops spinning for you, doesn't mean it stops spinning. You might quit, but the next person won't.

All it takes is the right idea, the right product or service, to reach the right person at the right time. You may have no control over who the right person is. You may have even less control over when the right time is, but if you've got the right idea, the right product and or the right service, you've got 40%-60% of the problem solved.

Many of the reasons why so many people do not have as much as they could have in this life are the false beliefs that:
1. There is not enough wealth in the world for them to have more of what they want;
2. They weren't born with the right last name;
3. They weren't born in the right zip code, or the people who do have more are just hoarding it all and keeping everyone else from having more.

Here's the thing. These beliefs are both 100% true and 100% crap depending on what you believe. If you believe that there's not enough wealth in the world for you to have some of it, then you will never be inspired to go after any of it. You'll just be stuck with whatever is left over.

It was Abraham Lincoln who said "Good things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle." On the other hand, if you believe that there's a million dollars somewhere out there with your name on it, all you have to do is find it. And guess what? That's going to take some work. So you see ... the reality is not that there isn't enough wealth to go around. The reality is that there are not enough people who are willing to work for it.

The "Occupy Wall Street" movement created new buzzwords like "the 99%" and the "1%." Well, for years I have said that 90% of the world's wealth is owned by 10% of the population. I'll even take it a couple steps further ... Everyone within the sound of my voice has at SOME point their lives watched television. Well, the average cast of a TV show is somewhere between 5 to 8 people.

The sheer numbers alone show that there are more people watching TV than there are people on TV, right? Yet when you turn off that TV, who has more money in the bank, the watcher or the performer? The performer. I submit to you that successful people will always be in the minority because successful people are always the ones who are willing to do more.

When you watch a play or a concert or even listen to a new CD, you're witnessing a one-time event; and if performed well, it may be a flawless performance. What you don't see are the countless hours of practice put in. Any successful person will tell you that it takes years of hard work in order to become an "overnight sensation."

In a world where the spending power of African American's - if measured as a country would place us as the world's 16 wealthiest country ... In a world where the spending power is set to be upwards of $1.1 Trillion dollars by 2015 ... I submit to you that there is more wealth in the world than we know what to do with. I submit to you that when you make the time to take the time to learn what to do with some of it, you'll soon get your piece of it. I submit to you that you can have what you want and you can be what you want ... provided you are willing to do what will be required of you.

There is more than enough wealth for all of us to have some because there will always be those who quit and give up on their dreams. As long as you provide quality value, you will get your share.

HRJR Enterprises ™ 2012 - All Rights Reserved.