As the title of this book ("Success is a Journey") alludes, every journey must come to an end, and here is where our journey begins to conclude. In the previous chapters I shared with you my views on what to expect on your journey of success and how you should go about handling yourself on your journey. I don’t believe I can say it enough that if you are truly on a journey of success, your journey will not be an easy one. Even though the journey that is your physical life started beyond your control and shall end in God’s time, your journey of success will start and end by your will alone.
You can start it at any time and you can end it any time. I want to say it’s never too late to start on that journey, but the fact of the matter is tomorrow is promised to no one so the earlier you start the better off you are. When you know that something in your life – or your life overall – has to change, then that is the time when you should start taking action to make the changes necessary. When you realize for yourself that you’re not as knowledgeable as you want to be, or are overweight, or that you smoke too much, or you abuse drugs, alcohol, gambling, or even if you realize you hurt someone’s feelings; when you reach that moment of clarity, that’s when you should go about taking control, and when you do, that’s when your journey of success in that area begins.
Again, if your journey is a worthwhile endeavor, it is not going to be an easy road to travel. It takes time to read when you’d rather be watching television. Push-ups and crunches can be torture, and there will be times when you will want to hunt down whoever invented the treadmill and clock him across the head with it. Nicotine is a very addictive substance; as are illegal drugs, alcohol, and gambling – and the person whose feelings you hurt might not accept your apology and forgive you. These obstacles may be high or wide, but they are not permanent ones. You have to stay strong and keep the faith. This is what I call maintaining a motivational spirit.
It’s easy to say “if you think happy thoughts, then good things will come your way.” Yes ... it’s easy to say that, but quite untrue in the real world. Maintaining a motivational spirit is not the same as looking at the world with rose colored glasses and expecting that everything will turn out fine just because you believe it will. In order to maintain a motivational spirit, you must first find an honest internal balance. You must be able to see things as they really are and deal with them appropriately.
When I say “see things as they really are,” I mean you have to make a conscious effort to take what you’re given and process it in the best way possible to Find A Way to make your life easier.
Ignoring your bills does not make them go away. You have to pay those bills as best you can with what you have when you have it. There are going to be down times in your life. In order to overcome them, you’re going to have to face them. Only when you honestly face something can you find; or if necessary, create the motivation needed to overcome them.
As a police officer, I dealt with a lot of negative situations. A lot of cops get burnt-out and take their own lives because they can’t or don’t find, create and maintain the motivational spirit necessary to overcome the negatives they see in life on a daily basis. I have endured many a humbling season in my short lifetime thus far, and I’ve always come out on top. Suicide is punk’s way out. As Les Brown once described it, “it’s a permanent solution to a temporary problem.”
Where Should I Go to Find or Create a Motivational Spirit?
1. YOURSELF! The first place you should go is within yourself. No matter where you go, there you are. I believe that we all see the truth in everything, but if what we actually see is not what we want to see, we tend to ignore it or reshape it. This is not “creating your own reality.” This is nothing more than you lying to yourself. You must face the truth for what it is, no matter how ugly it may be. The first place you prepare yourself to become whatever you are meant to be is in your heart; but if you can’t be honest with yourself, how can you expect to present yourself and be treated as an honest person?
2. GOD (or whatever you deem your higher power to be)! There is power in prayer and meditation. As comedian and radio personality, Steve Harvey, says when he closes his show every day, “Don’t be afraid to pray. Don’t be too proud to pray. Prayer changes things.” Pick up a Bible, or a Qur’an, the Talmud, or whatever holy scripture your faith may subscribe to. Just as there is power in prayer, there is power in the Holy Word.
Like millions of people have for thousands of years, I often find solace in scripture; so I feel very safe in saying that even though I may not know you personally, there’s not a problem you have that you cannot find comfort in with God’s word.
There’s also nothing wrong with conversing with clergy if you have them available – and since they live to make themselves available you have no excuse for not being able to find any! I admit, although I have started going back to church, I am not an avid churchgoer, but I do have about 3 close friends who are ministers who I can confide my troubles in and help fortify my faith and motivational spirit.
3. READING! I cannot stress this approach enough. Trust and believe that no matter what struggles you may be enduring, there is someone out there who has overcome a similar – if not identical struggle, and probably wrote a book about it! Dealing with a particular illness? There are books out there. Money problems? There are books out there. Do you have problems understanding women? There are a bunch of books out there.
Do you have problems understanding men? Get over it (just kidding)! There are books out there. Do you just need help in general trying to figure out how to light a fire under your bottom? You’ve got a book for that right in your hands!
It’s really not difficult to find assistance in gaining insight on a particular problem. You can even go online and find out how other people have dealt with similar problems. All you have to do is just type in the name of your problem into the search engine of your choice, and within seconds you’ll have dozens of links to various websites, articles, and even support groups from around the world right at your fingertips. In short, there really is no excuse for not being able to find assistance in facing your problems.
4. “K.I.S.S.” Another way to maintain a motivational spirit is a technique that many speakers use: K.I.S.S. (Keep It Short & Simple). A lot of times people make things more complicated than they have to be. A couple of years ago I picked up a habit from watching a Denzel Washington movie – Inside Man, I think it was. There was a line that he often used when he wanted something explained to him which was something like, “Explain it to me like I’m a four year old.” I often find myself asking people questions only to have them give me answers that might sound good in their heads but have nothing to do with the question I asked and I have no problem saying, “Yes, but that’s not what I asked you. Now explain it to me like I’m a four year old.
When dealing with a problem or something bothering you, don’t say “I don’t know what’s wrong.” If you know that something is not right, then by default you know that something is wrong. If you’re not happy or content, then you’re sad or malcontent, and if you look deep enough inside yourself you’ll know what it is that’s wrong and why it’s bothering you. Hell, by default it’s bothering you because it’s wrong! See how simple that is?
When I am upset about something I know what it is that I’m upset about, and I realize that I may remain upset because I choose to be. When you are depressed or mad, it’s because you choose to be. If you’re engaged in an activity or a relationship that’s making you miserable then you must put distance between yourself and that activity or relationship and move towards something more pleasurable.
Now, it might not be practical to make that move exactly when you want to, but if you spend the time in between knowing that you have to make a positive move and actually making that move focused on making that move instead of focusing on the negativity of the situation you are spending your time productively.
Again, I am not saying just think happy thoughts and everything will be fine. That’s part of it – an important part, but it is only a part of the solution, and not the whole solution.
What I am saying is that if you honestly see a situation for what it is; look inside yourself and upon your faith; research your problem or adversity to see how other people overcame their similar or identical obstacles; break it down and simplify it as much as possible, and spend your time focusing on potential solutions instead of the definite problem – you then have the makings of a motivational spirit, and when you go about making a conscious effort of handling all of your setbacks in this manner, you will also be in the habit of maintaining a motivational spirit!
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