WHY ARE YOU WHERE YOU ARE?

Where are you in your life right now? Are you happy where you are in your life? Are you where you want to be in your life? If you aren’t happy with whom and where you are in your life today, what exactly are you going to do about it?

In case you’re not quite catching me … Yes, I am calling you out – and I am calling you out in such a way that cuts deeper than doing so publicly. I’m calling you out right here on this page. There’s no one around for you to say I’m embarrassing you; but since no one knows you better than yourself, you know now that I am calling you out before yourself.

The fact of the matter is that most people are not totally happy with their lives. One thing I learned from the feedback I received from my first book “Find A Way to Make A Way!” is that as much as we’d like to think we lead individual lives, we all share the same experiences. We all have the same joys and pains and fears. These are the things that make up the human experience, and the name given to this experience is LIFE. Those who are the most fulfilled – the most successful are those who do the most to improve their lives.

Now, this is where the foot really begins to meet the ass. As I said, most people are not happy with where they are. Some of them are actively working to change their conditions. Some of them will focus on the areas that make them happy while ignoring the areas that are hard to face, and some do nothing and just accept where they are as where they were always destined to be. Respectively, I classify these people as the (emotionally) rich, middle class, and poor. Consequently, how these people tend to their emotional gardens equally manifests the outcomes of their material lives.

For the most part, the people I encounter either agree with me or disagree with me vehemently, but I am coming from a place of total honesty. Honesty with myself and the world we live in. while I am a firm believer in the value of emotional and spiritual fulfillment, neither keeps the bills paid … not directly. However, if you can find and do something that brings you both emotional and spiritual fulfillment, and an income; well then my friend, you have found life’s trifecta!

But let us return to the questions asked at the beginning. You see, only you can change your life for the better. Only you know what it will take to make you happy, and only you will know when you’ve achieved it. And all it takes to for you put yourself on that path is a little action. You have to be willing to take the first step. Once you’ve done that, the rest becomes easier.

When I first wrote this, it was just a couple of days after the first birthday of my youngest son, Justin. In the days leading up to his birthday, he was just crawling around looking cute and dribbling all over the place. On his birthday, my wife and I took him to get his first haircut, and surprisingly, afterwards it seemed like a little personality came out! As if someone flicked on a light switch, he’s gone from crawling to walking. First he was walking with some assistance, where as long as he had something lean on, he was on fire. Then about a week after that he stopped leaning against the walls & furniture. Now he’s venturing across the room and his walk is getting stronger and stronger!

As you begin to take action to improve your life, you might need some assistance and that’s okay. For starters, that’s what I’m here for. As your coach, I am going to be both that wanted pat on the back and also that sometimes needed foot in the ass. As much as we need encouragement, we also need to be pushed – we need to be challenged.

So again … just so that we’re clear here … I am challenging you. I am challenging you to face your fears and your flaws because until you do, you will not be totally happy. You might say that you’re happy and you might act like you’re happy; however, saying and acting happy are merely shadows of actually being happy.

Now is this to say that you have to subscribe to MY definition or standard of happiness? Absolutely not! My goal is to get you to see and acknowledge the obstacles you have been either ignoring and or avoiding; to encourage you to overcome those obstacles, and move onwards towards overcoming new ones because this is how you go about succeeding and taking your life to higher levels of greatness.

So … to answer the question, “Why are you where you are?” well, the answer is quite simple … because that is exactly where you need to be right now! If there is someplace else you’d rather be – literally or figuratively, then the onus in on you to get yourself there. If you want to shine in the spotlight of your success, then you’re going to have to get off your ass and start earning it!

A Friend's Wise Words ...

The following was written by my good friend and colleague, Jim Hernandez. I could not have said it better myself.

"I am NOT a SPECIALIST, I am NOT a GURU, I am NOT a PSYCHOLOGIST and nor by any means do I think that I KNOW it all. I simply ask for your time to allow me to SHARE my thoughts, opinions and experiences with you and allow me to demonstrate how MY TRUTH has worked for me.  This comes from consistently working on becoming a better person, learning HOW to live a better life and sharing this knowledge and wisdom to whomever would take the time out to listen with an open mind.  I want you to understand that NO ONE, including myself, is qualified to tell you how to live YOUR life.  I am NOT asking you to ACCEPT but neither would I want you to reject what I am sharing with you.  Simply TRY IT OUT and seek the truth within it. What works for me, might not necessarily work for you but I share because … it worked."

So ... You have a "New" Business "Opportunity?"

For the past 5-6 years, ever since I began my career as a professional speaker, I became a target for people in the Multi-Level Marketing (MLM) industry. Now before I go further, I'm not going to bash this industry, but I am going to share why I won't get down with it.

First of all, whereas this industry appears to be the newest or next big thing, I first became involved with the industry back when I was 18 years old. The company was named A.L. Williams (now known as Primerica). I was somewhat the prodigy. After attending a few meetings I was able to do the intro meetings myself. I went through the training and even took & passed the necessary licensing classes. The only problem ... No one was trying to make life decisions like which kind of insurance or mutual funds to buy from an 18 year old. So I walked away from the business, but I stayed in touch with my colleagues.

A while later, the office I was affiliated with began to decline. I don't know if it was because people just decided to leave the business, go off to other businesses or if - as my father said would happen - after everyone in the area signing up everyone they know and getting them to do the same, the area gets saturated and dies out. It could have been a combination of all of the above. Of the crew I worked with, two are dead, two are on the streets, one has had numerous run-ins with the law (I even saw his mugshot in the processing room in MY department), and one is doing well with her life in her (non-MLM) career. Some of them made some money early on, but none of them "caked out" as was promised in the beginning.

What amazes me is how true the saying is that, "The more things change, the more they stay the same." Whenever someone comes to me and says they have a "business opportunity," I So ... You have a "new" business "opportunity?" I KNOW they're coming at me with an MLM business. Whenever someone tells me that another person can or has to better explain this "opportunity," I KNOW they're coming at me with an MLM business. The only thing that has changed is the fact that there are legitimate products that these businesses are offering, but at the end of the day, you don't make money from "direct sales." You make your money from how large and long a "downline" you can create. A downline is the people you bring in; the people they bring in, and the people brought in by the people you brought in and so on. When you come in you're a part of someone's downline, which is known as your "upline." Your upline basically shows who is making money off of you and the people in your downline.

When you joined the business, you gave someone else bonus points. You might be personally responsible for someone driving off in a shiny new luxury car as these are shown to be the symbol of success in these businesses. There was a time when I could say that I never knew anyone that reached that level, but earlier this year someone I know jumped into the business and in two years was awarded a BMW for his work. Quite a few close friends have entered the industry, so I have opted to tone down how opposed I am to this business. However, I can't get past the fact that this not about selling product. This is basically shifting money and getting paid by increasing membership in the program. The more people you bring in and the more people you get those people to bring in (and so on), the more money you make.

I simply cannot get down with getting paid for signing people up and teaching them how to get paid for signing people up ... "Oh by the way, there are some products we have over here, but the REAL money is over here in building a strong downline. Let me show you how to make this kind of money."

Tell you what ... If once you gets past all of the smoke & mirrors about how great this "opportunity" is, the one thing you either aren't telling me directly or telling me in some fancy sparkly way is that after I get YOU paid by signing up, you show me how to get paid by signing other people up and getting them to sign other people up ... I'll pass.

Keep Stretching ...

I remember the first time I saw Jean Claude Van Damme. It was his (real) first movie, "No Retreat, No Surrender." Dude's flexibility was crazy! Not only were his kicks really high, but he also performed what's called a "Russian Split," which is when both legs are stretched straight to either side. I told myself, "I'm going to do that!"

So I began stretching every day. I stretched so much that it hurt at times, but in time I was able to do it. It was definitely a girl-magnet move at parties when I was an Undergrad and at parties when I was in the Air Force. At 43, it ain't going down like that but my mind still holds the same discipline to manifest what I want by stretching thoughts.

If your dreams seem out of reach, it's because THEY ARE!

The question is how long are you going to let them stay out of reach? You're going to have to stretch. You're going to have to stretch until it hurts and then you're going to have to stretch some more because the pain you're feeling is the door creaking open.

You're going to have to keep stretching because that persistent stretching is your mind lubricating the hinges of that door. You're going to have to keep stretching because in time, you'll find that door will swing open smoothly and freely and when it does, you will find what you were reaching for; what you were stretching for, on the other side and well within your grasp.

Are People More Afraid to be Wealthy or Broke?

I have always said that people fail not because they're afraid of trying, but because they're afraid of succeeding. You see, it's going to take some work to get to a higher level than where you are, and once you reach that level you're going to have to maintain that same level of work to maintain your level of success or work even harder to get to the next level.

Many people get comfortable (complacent) right where they are. It takes no effort whatsoever to get comfortable. You may have to shift an inch or two here or there, but there's no sweat equity required to be comfortable (complacent).

Contrary to popular belief, wealth exists in abundance in this world. It's like a buffet ... You can walk up to the counter and take as many different items as you like. The person in front of you might only want one piece of shrimp (or a $30K/yr paying job), but you might want FIVE pieces of shrimp (6-7 figures).

It all boils down to what you're willing to work for, how many battles you're willing to fight, how many betrayals and setbacks you're willing to endure. These are the things to fear in becoming wealthy ... In comparison, what's there to fear about being broke? When you have the answer to that you'll realize why there are so many more broke people than wealthy people.

HRJR's Business `n Life Lesson (The Hip Hop Version)

     According to Forbes Magazine's 2013 Hip Hop "CASH KINGS," Sean "Diddy" Combs, Shawn "Jay Z" Carter & Andre "Dr. Dre" Young are the top 3 highest paid Hip Hop artists. The next 3 top earners are Nicki Minaj, Birdman & Kanye West. The top 3 earners 2012-2013 earnings surpass the next set of top earners by 50% or more.

 

Let's examine this ...

     The one common denominator the top three share is that even though they're all Hip Hop artists, the bulk of their income came from investments and ventures not directly related to hip hop or performing. It's been several years since Diddy put out an album/CD, Jay Z practically rebuilt Brooklyn's image single-handedly, and Dre hasn't dropped an album/CD in nearly 15 years.

So what does this mean? ...

     It's really simple ... These gentlemen realized long ago that what gets you to where you are may not be enough to take you where you want to go. If you want to have more and be more, you're going to have to DO more. If you want to gain something different and new, you're going to have to DO something different and new.

     Another thing these top 3 earners have in common is that they are not in business with many or any of the people they started out with. Regardless of the varied circumstances surrounding these separations, the overall prevailing message here is that, everyone who starts out with you and goes with you to a certain point might not be able or worthy to go with you the rest of the way.

As Jay Z said a few years back …
“Men lie, women lie … NUMBERS DON’T.”

HRJR's Lesson in Preparation ...

Something my elders used to say was, "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure."

Former Harvard President, Derek Bok said "If you think education is expensive, try ignorance."

It was Whitney M. Young who said, "It is better to be prepared for an opportunity and not have one than to have an opportunity and not be prepared."

And another age old adage of wisdom asks "Is it not better to measure ten times and cut once than to measure once and cut ten times?"

I truly believe that one of the main reasons people fail in life is because they often mistake an idea for a plan and their enthusiasm for preparation. There's nothing wrong with having a good idea, this is where all of our advances, both great and small come from. However, in order for that good idea to be of benefit, it must be converted into a great plan! And it is during the planning stages that you discover how you can go about making that good idea a reality.

There's a saying that goes, "Sometimes you have to take the jump and build your wings on the way down." Now, I can respect that in terms of having faith and all, but from a practical standpoint, I cannot help but continue to think, "If you don't anything about HOW to build wings before you jumped, where is that knowledge going to come from while you're falling?"

People want what they want and they want it now. You're probably no different. The next time you're struck by what you believe to be serendipity, take a moment of pause to reflect and then another to prepare.

You'll be glad you did.